*The idea of a helpmeet has always baffled me. There are a lot of obviously talented and brilliant women out there. Were all those women created by god to be helpmeets regardless? Because a lot of women have talents that aren't suitable to that way of life. Or are only mediocre women supposed to be helpmeets? The world would be a very different place if Lynn Margulis had been a housewife, for example. And the idea just totally breaks down when talking about homosexual relationships.
12.31.2009
Guess what I got for Christmas? A used copy of Dr. Dobson's What Wives Wish Their Husbands Knew About Women. I realize my in-laws were trying to be helpful, but this book is the biggest pile of shit imaginable. It contains all the stereotypes about how men are good at math and women are good at talking, men are turned on visually and women are turned on by romance, etc. It contains the usual criticisms of radical feminists (we're angry!). Before writing this book Dr. Dobson surveyed 5,000 church women at various church functions in order to determine the major problems women face in marriage. So right away, you can see how this book is fundamentally flawed. Of course the women he surveyed cite self-esteem as the biggest source of marital discord. When your life is reduced to being a helpmeet*, when you're told your purpose is to help somebody else fulfill their dreams, of course you're going to feel worthless. It's possible that this book would be useful for somebody who isn't me. However, a far more useful exercise than reading this book would be to divorce your husband, kill your children, and practice witchcraft throw out archaic and inaccurate notions of what men and women can or should be and start over. This book tries to fix the problems the patriarchy creates with an extra dose of patriarchy. It makes no sense.
*The idea of a helpmeet has always baffled me. There are a lot of obviously talented and brilliant women out there. Were all those women created by god to be helpmeets regardless? Because a lot of women have talents that aren't suitable to that way of life. Or are only mediocre women supposed to be helpmeets? The world would be a very different place if Lynn Margulis had been a housewife, for example. And the idea just totally breaks down when talking about homosexual relationships.
*The idea of a helpmeet has always baffled me. There are a lot of obviously talented and brilliant women out there. Were all those women created by god to be helpmeets regardless? Because a lot of women have talents that aren't suitable to that way of life. Or are only mediocre women supposed to be helpmeets? The world would be a very different place if Lynn Margulis had been a housewife, for example. And the idea just totally breaks down when talking about homosexual relationships.
12.20.2009
Bridal Shower!
Not for me, for Sara(h), my brother's fiance. They're getting married in Alaska this summer, and we're having a bridal shower for her on January 2nd. You're all welcome to come, meet Eric's fiance, and entertain me. :) You might get to meet Laura too, I'm going to try to drag her along.
It'll be in the Rapids area.. I think in Kellner. Let me know if you're interested & I'll get you the info. I'd post it here but in all of the packing-for-the-big-move craziness, the invite wound up in a random box.. somewhere.
Not for me, for Sara(h), my brother's fiance. They're getting married in Alaska this summer, and we're having a bridal shower for her on January 2nd. You're all welcome to come, meet Eric's fiance, and entertain me. :) You might get to meet Laura too, I'm going to try to drag her along.
It'll be in the Rapids area.. I think in Kellner. Let me know if you're interested & I'll get you the info. I'd post it here but in all of the packing-for-the-big-move craziness, the invite wound up in a random box.. somewhere.
12.15.2009
Tis The Season
In honor of my sister's birthday (which I have not been present for with her since she turned 15), I am flying to Milwaukee tomorrow.
During the week of Christmas, I will be at my parents' place in Rudolph, and that weekend, I am going back to Milwaukee to catch my 8:30 am flight back to SFO.
When will you be back in ol' Whiskey Rapids?
In honor of my sister's birthday (which I have not been present for with her since she turned 15), I am flying to Milwaukee tomorrow.
During the week of Christmas, I will be at my parents' place in Rudolph, and that weekend, I am going back to Milwaukee to catch my 8:30 am flight back to SFO.
When will you be back in ol' Whiskey Rapids?
12.03.2009
After doing a bit of reading and a bit of thinking, I've come around to agree more with children's rights activists. On the one hand, kids need to be taught how to be full human beings. On the other hand, they are already humans with thoughts and feelings and rights of their own. In general, we like to treat children as property with no right to bodily integrity or conscience. In some cases we do this because they are not old enough to make informed decisions. In some cases we do this because we don't really think about what we're doing. And in some cases we do this because we want to enforce our will, whether or not it is in the child's best interest. And because children are property, unless a parent does something really, really awful, it's supposed to be nobody's business what you do to your kids. In fact, most people will think you're a ginormous asshole for daring to suggest that a parent has done something wrong.
Actually, there is one special case in which you are allowed to interfere with the parenting decisions of other people. If you're a Christian you're allowed to convert other people's kids without their consent.
Actually, there is one special case in which you are allowed to interfere with the parenting decisions of other people. If you're a Christian you're allowed to convert other people's kids without their consent.
11.20.2009
Acting happy. Another reason this blog is awesome. It takes a phenomenon that I have a difficult time explaining, and describes it in a few words.
11.01.2009
What the $&#%? Bay Bridge still not open?
I posted on my blog about the Bay Bridge outage - on Tuesday, parts of the new bridge (I think) started falling apart and Caltrans had to close the bay bridge, which is like the aortic valve of the Bay. Commuting in the bay is always crap, but now it's even worse. Not to mention all the money our state doesn't have that is going to this 24/7 transportation melodrama. For instance, UC Berkeley cannot afford to fix broken elevators or empty trash more than twice a week - they also do not supply trash bags for those that might want to empty trash themselves.
But think of all the money we save on taxes by doing that! Ugh
I posted on my blog about the Bay Bridge outage - on Tuesday, parts of the new bridge (I think) started falling apart and Caltrans had to close the bay bridge, which is like the aortic valve of the Bay. Commuting in the bay is always crap, but now it's even worse. Not to mention all the money our state doesn't have that is going to this 24/7 transportation melodrama. For instance, UC Berkeley cannot afford to fix broken elevators or empty trash more than twice a week - they also do not supply trash bags for those that might want to empty trash themselves.
But think of all the money we save on taxes by doing that! Ugh
10.26.2009
10.24.2009
Do you remember the blog Stuff White People Like? Well, prepare to have your mind blown by Stuff Christian Culture Likes. It really is a whole universe unto itself, and it's entirely removed from reality. Among the things that they like are The Shack, exclamation points!!!!!!, and jumbotrons.
Strangely enough, they don't mention ironic t-shirts. Although they do cover whole "I'm a Christian Douchebag Trying to be Relevant" look with cheesy hair. But really, I think ironic t-shirts deserves it's own category. I mean, every single d-bag Christian band wears them. It's like they've traveled back in time and denuded the 1970s.
Strangely enough, they don't mention ironic t-shirts. Although they do cover whole "I'm a Christian Douchebag Trying to be Relevant" look with cheesy hair. But really, I think ironic t-shirts deserves it's own category. I mean, every single d-bag Christian band wears them. It's like they've traveled back in time and denuded the 1970s.
9.27.2009
This is a fifth grade music class in a NYC public school (PS 22). Now tell me again...why don't we need to fund the arts? Clearly, good things are happening. Also: why wasn't my elementary school music teacher this cool?
Other good videos from the kids at PS 22, complete with stunning solos (how can one public school have so many uber-talented 5th graders?!):
Respect
Eye of the Tiger
Viva La Vida
1000 Oceans
Don't Stop Believing
Landslide
Getting a lesson from Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Hardin
Other good videos from the kids at PS 22, complete with stunning solos (how can one public school have so many uber-talented 5th graders?!):
Respect
Eye of the Tiger
Viva La Vida
1000 Oceans
Don't Stop Believing
Landslide
Getting a lesson from Academy Award winner Marcia Gay Hardin
9.26.2009
9.22.2009
Norman Borlaug died on September 12. To say that he saved over a billion lives is not hyperbole. Do you know how he accomplished this? It wasn't with community gardens, local food, slow food, organic food, or whatever the fashion is now. He did it with science. Here's what he said just a few weeks before he died:
The boy throws the stone in jest; the frog dies in earnest.
Even here at home, some elements of popular culture romanticize older, inefficient production methods and shun fertilizers and pesticides, arguing that the U.S. should revert to producing only local organic food. People should be able to purchase organic food if they have the will and financial means to do so, but not at the expense of the world’s hungry—25,000 of whom die each day from malnutrition.
The boy throws the stone in jest; the frog dies in earnest.
9.17.2009
Reading surreal fiction might actually make you smarter. And to think my dad called my books "brain candy" when I was growing up.
9.08.2009
Do want!. I can provide the pictures of DNA fragments, but I don't know how to make it pretty. For that I require an actual artist. But it would be neat to make one of these.
9.02.2009
Why do my students send me emails like this? What have I ever said in the classroom that would make them think I'd appreciate this drivel? I'm glad to know those critical thinking skills are sinking in. If someone says "This is TRUE!" it must be so, right?
This is TRUE!
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September,
2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California. After you finish reading this, please forward this story on to others so that our nation and people around the world will know about those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York , Pennsylvania , and the Pentagon.
On September 11th, A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval
and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him, 'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face. He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community. Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation.
And Now The Rest Of The Story:
It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit! At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy!
Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
Pass this along, America needs to know that we're all working together!
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English…THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Hmm...like any company could actually get away with this without some major public backlash. Like EVERY company would be that dumb. Come on, students. Put on your thinking caps. Please?
PS: The true version of the story, which took all of 5 seconds on google to find. Come on, students -- that's YOUR kind of research. Use it. http://www.snopes.com/rumors/budweiser.asp
This is TRUE!
How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September,
2001...
Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield , California. After you finish reading this, please forward this story on to others so that our nation and people around the world will know about those who laughed when they found out about the tragic events in New York , Pennsylvania , and the Pentagon.
On September 11th, A Budweiser employee was making a delivery to a convenience store in a California town named McFarland. He knew of the tragedy that had occurred in New York when he entered the business to find the two Arabs, who owned the business, whooping and hollering to show their approval
and support of this treacherous attack.
The Budweiser employee went to his truck, called his boss and told him of the very upsetting event! He didn't feel he could be in that store with those horrible people. His boss asked him, 'Do you think you could go in there long enough to pull every Budweiser product and item our beverage company sells there? We'll never deliver to them again.'
The employee walked in, proceeded to pull every single product his beverage company provided and left with an incredible grin on his face. He told them never to bother to call for a delivery again. Budweiser happens to be the beer of choice for that community. Just letting you know how Kern County handled this situation.
And Now The Rest Of The Story:
It seems that the Bud driver and the Pepsi man are neighbors. Bud called Pepsi and told him. Pepsi called his boss who told him to pull all Pepsi products as well!!! That would include Frito Lay, etc. Furthermore, word spread and all vendors followed suit! At last report, on June 26, 2009, Fareed Katib closed the store and filed bankruptcy!
Good old American Passive-Aggressive A$$ Whoopin!
Pass this along, America needs to know that we're all working together!
If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English…THANK A SOLDIER!!!
Hmm...like any company could actually get away with this without some major public backlash. Like EVERY company would be that dumb. Come on, students. Put on your thinking caps. Please?
PS: The true version of the story, which took all of 5 seconds on google to find. Come on, students -- that's YOUR kind of research. Use it. http://www.snopes.com/rumors/budweiser.asp
9.01.2009
Funny Fleetwood Mac Moment (Even if You're Not a Fan)
Forgive my lack of substance, but I just wanted to share because I think this is incredible -- not the song itself (although that is too), but what happens during the song. If you're impatient, fast forward to 4:30. Then watch the very end, after the song ends (5:54). HILARIOUS. After seeing this, are there any lingering questions as to whether or not Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac are a true class act? No, I didn't think so.
Forgive my lack of substance, but I just wanted to share because I think this is incredible -- not the song itself (although that is too), but what happens during the song. If you're impatient, fast forward to 4:30. Then watch the very end, after the song ends (5:54). HILARIOUS. After seeing this, are there any lingering questions as to whether or not Stevie Nicks and Fleetwood Mac are a true class act? No, I didn't think so.
8.10.2009
So.. I tested other people's breastmilk today.
Yes, you read that right. No, it was NOT a *taste*test. I played scientist and took part in a consumer test (paid, I might add) where I squirted (real! live!!!) breastmilk onto test strips and decided if the alcohol level was too high. [side note: it really was alive! did you know that breastmilk is alive??! okay, not alive-alive, but it's full of live cultures and metabolizes for hours and hours after it's out there, sitting in a cup on the table. crazy.] It was marvelous. I even looked the part (sorry, no pics). I donned a lab coat, latex gloves, and goggles for the testing, just in case the breastmilk was filled with teh AIDS. Or something. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't, plus I didn't get any in my eyes (or mouth, yeck!), so don't worry.
And clearly I have not matured much, because everytime I say it aloud to someone I burst into fits of giggles.
Yes, you read that right. No, it was NOT a *taste*test. I played scientist and took part in a consumer test (paid, I might add) where I squirted (real! live!!!) breastmilk onto test strips and decided if the alcohol level was too high. [side note: it really was alive! did you know that breastmilk is alive??! okay, not alive-alive, but it's full of live cultures and metabolizes for hours and hours after it's out there, sitting in a cup on the table. crazy.] It was marvelous. I even looked the part (sorry, no pics). I donned a lab coat, latex gloves, and goggles for the testing, just in case the breastmilk was filled with teh AIDS. Or something. But I'm pretty sure it wasn't, plus I didn't get any in my eyes (or mouth, yeck!), so don't worry.
And clearly I have not matured much, because everytime I say it aloud to someone I burst into fits of giggles.
8.03.2009
I booted a guy out of my guild because even though we're now living in President Blackazoid's post-racial utopia, I still don't find racist jokes funny. Admittedly, I lost my temper. But you know what? Fuck it. In World of Warcraft, you don't know who is behind the toon. I guess it's interesting, in an academic way, how everybody assumes that A) everybody else is a white dude and B) that makes ok to tell racist, sexist jokes. As an officer in this guild, I'd like to build a core raid group that is successful at downing bosses and getting the loot, and that means we have to attract skilled players. You don't attract and keep good people if it gets around that you've got a trashy guild. The last thing I want is for a skilled tank or healer to ditch the guild because some fuckface can't keep his trap shut. Call me crazy, but I'd like for the game environment to be fun rather than hostile.
7.20.2009
7.10.2009
For those of you who cook, this is a great website for flavorful vegan cooking. I'm not vegan (or even vegetarian, for that matter) but I try to cook with fresh (& local when possible) organic veggies, and at first I had a hard time figuring out what to make. During one of my bouts of procrastination from school work, I stumbled across a most excellent source of delicious yet healthy recipes. I've been getting ideas & recipes from it at least once a month for the past two years and haven't been disappointed yet. She even has a searchable recipe index & recipes sorted by type (dessert, soup, etc).
http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/
And Sig, she has a "ridiculously easy" section of recipes too. So no excuses!
7.09.2009
7.01.2009
6.27.2009
Please don't be an asshole at the restaurant.
This post is, I suspect, an effort to preach to the choir. We have all worked shitty service jobs, or been close to people who have worked shitty service jobs. We all know to tip decently because the waiter is only making $3/hour, to not take it out on the waitress when the food is too salty because she's not the cook, etc etc etc.
But not everyone knows these things, and not everyone realizes the ramifications of their complaints.
Jon is a bartender. He's been working at a family restaurant for almost a year now, making a lot of margaritas and opening a lot of Coronas. This doesn't seem to me like a terribly long time to work in one place, but of all the bartenders on staff he's the one who has been there the longest. To me, this says one of two things: either it's a shitty place to work, or the management is too quick to fire its employees. I suspect it may be some of both since, in Jon's less-than-a-year at this place, more than a few people have been fired and people get bitched out for all sorts of crazy things.
Jon was scheduled to work the "slow" shift today, which at his establishment means that he comes in when the restaurant opens and goes home whenever business slows down enough that they can get by on one bartender for the rest of the day. Usually, this means Jon works an eleven hour shift, 10-9. He doesn't mind the slow shift because, especially on weekends, it means that he makes a lot of money. As a bartender, he gets hourly pay plus tips, and also a small tip-out from the waitresses because he mixes a lot of drinks for them. All in all, it's not a bad deal from a money standpoint.
As scheduled, he showed up for work when the restaurant opened this morning. So did the other scheduled bartender. So did the waitstaff and the manager. The hostess, however, did not. At 10:00 a.m., the bar can get by with only one bartender so the manager asked Jon to play host. Jon did, although he was irritated about it because it meant $7/hour and no tips. But he smiled and nodded and seated people and answered the phone. The hostess never showed up, so he was told he'd probably have to fill in until 4:00, when a different hostess was scheduled to come in.
OK, shitty, but OK. Then, at about 2:00, a party of 10 came in. They wanted a table on the deck. The deck was already full and it looked like it would be a long wait before there were enough open tables to accommodate a party of 10. Jon told the people that they could wait, or he could seat them inside next to the window so they'd have the same view.
They opted for the window table. Within moments of being seated, two tables right next to each other on the deck unexpectedly opened up -- someone decided not to order after all, or something. Anyway, the party of 10 had only been seated for a few minutes, and they hadn't even been served their drinks yet. Jon hadn't even had time to bring over the high chair they'd requested. So, high chair in hand, he went over to the table and told them they could move to the deck if they wanted to. They did. Jon carried the high chair and the people followed him to their new table.
He had no idea there was any problem until his manager called him over to bitch at him. The people had complained about how rude he was for not carrying their menus to the new table, never mind that he had his hands full with the high chair. I have no idea what proper protocol is for a host in that situation. Maybe the host should carry the menus -- but even if that's the case, is it really an infraction worth complaining to the manager about? And even if it is, is it something that the manager really ought to yell at the stand-in host for, considering that he was thrown into the job with no training and had never ever worked even 5 minutes as a host before? I'd say probably not. It seems reasonable for the manager to say, "Next time, carry the menus" but it does not seem reasonable to make a big scene of it.
But the story doesn't end there, with the manager making a big deal over nothing. On top of getting a talking-to, Jon got sent home from work early -- he didn't get sent back to his actual position. No. He got sent home entirely. (Never mind that come evening it's going to get busy as hell in there and the less-experienced bartender will now have to handle it alone.) So in the end Jon made all of $35 today, rather than the almost $200 he should have made between wages and tips -- all because some jerk got a bug up his ass about having to carry his own menu.
Restaurant patrons, please realize that when you're an asshole because you want to get a free meal, real people get fucked. People lose a lot of money over your complaints. People even lose their jobs over your complaints.* Managers take over-the-top disciplinary actions to make up for your minor discomfort in order to save their own asses, because if they don't respond to the complaints -- no matter how ludicrous they are -- then their own jobs are in jeopardy.
The moral of the story is that unless something is actually a problem, suck it up. If you had to carry your own menu when the host was trying to accommodate your request, cry about it. If your server sneezed on your plate or called you a dick-face, then complain. Those are actual problems. Having to carry your menu when the host's hands are full because he's carrying a high chair that you asked for while leading you to the table you asked for? Not so much. People suck.
*Jon once worked at a restaurant where someone got fired for not liking salad dressing. The customers asked the waitress for her recommendation, and the waitress replied that she wasn't able to make a recommendation because she didn't like dressing. The customer interpreted this as a snide remark, complained to the manager, and wrote a letter to the owner. The waitress lost her job.
This post is, I suspect, an effort to preach to the choir. We have all worked shitty service jobs, or been close to people who have worked shitty service jobs. We all know to tip decently because the waiter is only making $3/hour, to not take it out on the waitress when the food is too salty because she's not the cook, etc etc etc.
But not everyone knows these things, and not everyone realizes the ramifications of their complaints.
Jon is a bartender. He's been working at a family restaurant for almost a year now, making a lot of margaritas and opening a lot of Coronas. This doesn't seem to me like a terribly long time to work in one place, but of all the bartenders on staff he's the one who has been there the longest. To me, this says one of two things: either it's a shitty place to work, or the management is too quick to fire its employees. I suspect it may be some of both since, in Jon's less-than-a-year at this place, more than a few people have been fired and people get bitched out for all sorts of crazy things.
Jon was scheduled to work the "slow" shift today, which at his establishment means that he comes in when the restaurant opens and goes home whenever business slows down enough that they can get by on one bartender for the rest of the day. Usually, this means Jon works an eleven hour shift, 10-9. He doesn't mind the slow shift because, especially on weekends, it means that he makes a lot of money. As a bartender, he gets hourly pay plus tips, and also a small tip-out from the waitresses because he mixes a lot of drinks for them. All in all, it's not a bad deal from a money standpoint.
As scheduled, he showed up for work when the restaurant opened this morning. So did the other scheduled bartender. So did the waitstaff and the manager. The hostess, however, did not. At 10:00 a.m., the bar can get by with only one bartender so the manager asked Jon to play host. Jon did, although he was irritated about it because it meant $7/hour and no tips. But he smiled and nodded and seated people and answered the phone. The hostess never showed up, so he was told he'd probably have to fill in until 4:00, when a different hostess was scheduled to come in.
OK, shitty, but OK. Then, at about 2:00, a party of 10 came in. They wanted a table on the deck. The deck was already full and it looked like it would be a long wait before there were enough open tables to accommodate a party of 10. Jon told the people that they could wait, or he could seat them inside next to the window so they'd have the same view.
They opted for the window table. Within moments of being seated, two tables right next to each other on the deck unexpectedly opened up -- someone decided not to order after all, or something. Anyway, the party of 10 had only been seated for a few minutes, and they hadn't even been served their drinks yet. Jon hadn't even had time to bring over the high chair they'd requested. So, high chair in hand, he went over to the table and told them they could move to the deck if they wanted to. They did. Jon carried the high chair and the people followed him to their new table.
He had no idea there was any problem until his manager called him over to bitch at him. The people had complained about how rude he was for not carrying their menus to the new table, never mind that he had his hands full with the high chair. I have no idea what proper protocol is for a host in that situation. Maybe the host should carry the menus -- but even if that's the case, is it really an infraction worth complaining to the manager about? And even if it is, is it something that the manager really ought to yell at the stand-in host for, considering that he was thrown into the job with no training and had never ever worked even 5 minutes as a host before? I'd say probably not. It seems reasonable for the manager to say, "Next time, carry the menus" but it does not seem reasonable to make a big scene of it.
But the story doesn't end there, with the manager making a big deal over nothing. On top of getting a talking-to, Jon got sent home from work early -- he didn't get sent back to his actual position. No. He got sent home entirely. (Never mind that come evening it's going to get busy as hell in there and the less-experienced bartender will now have to handle it alone.) So in the end Jon made all of $35 today, rather than the almost $200 he should have made between wages and tips -- all because some jerk got a bug up his ass about having to carry his own menu.
Restaurant patrons, please realize that when you're an asshole because you want to get a free meal, real people get fucked. People lose a lot of money over your complaints. People even lose their jobs over your complaints.* Managers take over-the-top disciplinary actions to make up for your minor discomfort in order to save their own asses, because if they don't respond to the complaints -- no matter how ludicrous they are -- then their own jobs are in jeopardy.
The moral of the story is that unless something is actually a problem, suck it up. If you had to carry your own menu when the host was trying to accommodate your request, cry about it. If your server sneezed on your plate or called you a dick-face, then complain. Those are actual problems. Having to carry your menu when the host's hands are full because he's carrying a high chair that you asked for while leading you to the table you asked for? Not so much. People suck.
*Jon once worked at a restaurant where someone got fired for not liking salad dressing. The customers asked the waitress for her recommendation, and the waitress replied that she wasn't able to make a recommendation because she didn't like dressing. The customer interpreted this as a snide remark, complained to the manager, and wrote a letter to the owner. The waitress lost her job.
6.12.2009
I had a nightmare that I had two children. It was horrible.
***
Apparently rich people can't be friends with poor people. And the recession is making it worse.
***
Apparently rich people can't be friends with poor people. And the recession is making it worse.
5.10.2009
5.03.2009
So...today is graduation at my college. Our small campus is not equipped to accommodate 2,000 vehicles (we only have 1000 students!), so parking for graduation is something of a cluster-fuck. It involves shuttle buses and designated parking areas and all sorts of madness. When I pulled in to campus this morning the parking attendant looked at me and at my Harry Potter costume hanging in the back seat, and said, "Are you graduating today?" Rather than trying to explain, I just said "Yes."
"Yes" turns out to have been the wrong answer. I was ushered to a lot really close to the graduation ceremony -- a privilege for the graduates, I suppose -- but as far from my office as is possible. Since I needed to drop off some things (like my purse) and grab some other things (like ibuprofen), that proved to be annoying as all get out. Still, it probably wasn't as annoying as having to explain that, actually, I'm a professor. Really. Don't mind the jelly bracelets or the fact that I look 12.
At least I'm not the only one who has this problem. I was at a wedding reception last night. (Hence the need for ibuprofen today.) The bride, the groom, and the wedding party were roughly my age. One of the bridesmaids came back from the bathroom with a horrified look on her face. "I just got asked if I was here for the prom," she reported. "Really?" I said. "By a high schooler" she said.
The sad part? She looks older than I do.
"Yes" turns out to have been the wrong answer. I was ushered to a lot really close to the graduation ceremony -- a privilege for the graduates, I suppose -- but as far from my office as is possible. Since I needed to drop off some things (like my purse) and grab some other things (like ibuprofen), that proved to be annoying as all get out. Still, it probably wasn't as annoying as having to explain that, actually, I'm a professor. Really. Don't mind the jelly bracelets or the fact that I look 12.
At least I'm not the only one who has this problem. I was at a wedding reception last night. (Hence the need for ibuprofen today.) The bride, the groom, and the wedding party were roughly my age. One of the bridesmaids came back from the bathroom with a horrified look on her face. "I just got asked if I was here for the prom," she reported. "Really?" I said. "By a high schooler" she said.
The sad part? She looks older than I do.
4.27.2009
Dear Students,
Finals week is just as painful for your professors as it is for you. When you start complaining about how long it took you to work on your revision portfolio, for example, think about this: it took your professor approximately thirty hours to grade those damn things. Did it take you 30 hours to work on it? No, it did not, so shut the fuck up.
~Your Prof.
Finals week is just as painful for your professors as it is for you. When you start complaining about how long it took you to work on your revision portfolio, for example, think about this: it took your professor approximately thirty hours to grade those damn things. Did it take you 30 hours to work on it? No, it did not, so shut the fuck up.
~Your Prof.
4.12.2009
It's amazing how much can change in four years. Things that were different the last time I had a family Easter (and not in a good way):
*We had Easter dinner on Sunday, not on Saturday night
*We didn't have to spend Easter Sunday at the nursing home
*Grandma Florence was still alive (and living in her own house)
*Grandpa Bobbin still lived at home, and still knew who I was
*The Easter Bunny delivered my candy in an actual Easter basket
*I hunted for said basket at FloJo's, not at Grandma Hazel's
*My sister was there
*My grandma's kitchen was still fully stocked, so there was no question of whether or not there would be any food coloring to dye the eggs
*Blair still had a grocery store, so even if there had been some snafu involving a lack of food coloring, we would have been able to procure some without having to go to the next town
*There was no way in hell the grill would have run out of propane -- my grandpa would have been on top of that
*My grandma didn't need to take the elevator at church
*Neither did my mother
*The minister would not have tried to make small talk with me, because (a) he wasn't the mister at that time and (b) even if he was, he wouldn't have the mistaken impression that we're friends on the basis of a conversation we had about Annie Dillard after my grandma's funeral
About the only positive difference is this one:
*My uncle now has an adorable little puppy
Pretty sad that there's only one good thing to have happened in the interim, yes? Maybe those four years of being cut off from all the holiday celebrations (save Christmas) were not such a bad thing after all. The holidays have gone down hill something fierce, and awfully quickly.
/whining
*We had Easter dinner on Sunday, not on Saturday night
*We didn't have to spend Easter Sunday at the nursing home
*Grandma Florence was still alive (and living in her own house)
*Grandpa Bobbin still lived at home, and still knew who I was
*The Easter Bunny delivered my candy in an actual Easter basket
*I hunted for said basket at FloJo's, not at Grandma Hazel's
*My sister was there
*My grandma's kitchen was still fully stocked, so there was no question of whether or not there would be any food coloring to dye the eggs
*Blair still had a grocery store, so even if there had been some snafu involving a lack of food coloring, we would have been able to procure some without having to go to the next town
*There was no way in hell the grill would have run out of propane -- my grandpa would have been on top of that
*My grandma didn't need to take the elevator at church
*Neither did my mother
*The minister would not have tried to make small talk with me, because (a) he wasn't the mister at that time and (b) even if he was, he wouldn't have the mistaken impression that we're friends on the basis of a conversation we had about Annie Dillard after my grandma's funeral
About the only positive difference is this one:
*My uncle now has an adorable little puppy
Pretty sad that there's only one good thing to have happened in the interim, yes? Maybe those four years of being cut off from all the holiday celebrations (save Christmas) were not such a bad thing after all. The holidays have gone down hill something fierce, and awfully quickly.
/whining
4.05.2009
I recently learned that my 18-year-old cousin's English Internet girlfriend is coming to the States this summer to live with my cousin's family for six weeks. Before that, he's going to England for a month. A few questions:
1. When his sister turns 18, will she be allowed to bring strange foreign men into the house for the better part of a summer?
2. Being that the only spare bed in the house is in my cousin's room (he's got bunk beds), will the girlfriend be allowed to sleep in his room?
3. How on earth are the parents going to keep these kids from making babies left and right? Let's think about this. Two horny teenagers who have been cyber dating for 3 years (or more?) are suddenly going to be together in real life 24/7 for almost an entire summer. After three years (0r more?) they will finally have the opportunity to lay their hands all over each other for real, not just through creepy cyber sex. But don't worry, they're going to behave like good Christian children...
4. What if my cousin and his cyber lady friend end up hating each other? Sure they've spent the last few years doing the IM and web cam thing, but that's different. All day every day is a whole different sack of potatoes. For that matter, so is real life.
5. What is wrong with this girl that she needs a cyber boyfriend? (I know what my cousin's deal is -- he's a chubby little Wisco boy who likes computer games, Mountain Dew, McDonald's, and anime way more than anybody should. He might actually have a little bit of luck with the ladies because he's a sweetheart, but in order to meet the ladies he'd have to leave the basement every now and again, so... You all know the type.)
And also a few comments:
1. My poor cousin! (The sister.) I can't imagine having to put up with brother's girlfriend for that long. Can you imagine what it would be like to have your brother and his girlfriend on the couch holding hands and making lovey-eyes at each other every single time you walk in the house for six weeks? Or living under the real possibility that every time you go into the computer room, they'll be there making out (or worse)? I mean, literally every single time. My cousin does not leave the house unless absolutely necessary. He really will be there every single moment of every single day.
2. My cousin has never been on an airplane, much less visited a foreign country. This is a family whose idea of exotic vacation is "road trip out west." He grew up in Wisconsin Rapids and has the mentality of someone who grew up in Wisconsin Rapids. I feel sorry for the poor English folks who are going to have to deal with this kid who is incredibly conservative, uncultured, and ethnocentric. I love the kid -- we've always been close -- but dang he needs to get out more.
This should be interesting. I can't wait to meet this girl and hear the stories...
1. When his sister turns 18, will she be allowed to bring strange foreign men into the house for the better part of a summer?
2. Being that the only spare bed in the house is in my cousin's room (he's got bunk beds), will the girlfriend be allowed to sleep in his room?
3. How on earth are the parents going to keep these kids from making babies left and right? Let's think about this. Two horny teenagers who have been cyber dating for 3 years (or more?) are suddenly going to be together in real life 24/7 for almost an entire summer. After three years (0r more?) they will finally have the opportunity to lay their hands all over each other for real, not just through creepy cyber sex. But don't worry, they're going to behave like good Christian children...
4. What if my cousin and his cyber lady friend end up hating each other? Sure they've spent the last few years doing the IM and web cam thing, but that's different. All day every day is a whole different sack of potatoes. For that matter, so is real life.
5. What is wrong with this girl that she needs a cyber boyfriend? (I know what my cousin's deal is -- he's a chubby little Wisco boy who likes computer games, Mountain Dew, McDonald's, and anime way more than anybody should. He might actually have a little bit of luck with the ladies because he's a sweetheart, but in order to meet the ladies he'd have to leave the basement every now and again, so... You all know the type.)
And also a few comments:
1. My poor cousin! (The sister.) I can't imagine having to put up with brother's girlfriend for that long. Can you imagine what it would be like to have your brother and his girlfriend on the couch holding hands and making lovey-eyes at each other every single time you walk in the house for six weeks? Or living under the real possibility that every time you go into the computer room, they'll be there making out (or worse)? I mean, literally every single time. My cousin does not leave the house unless absolutely necessary. He really will be there every single moment of every single day.
2. My cousin has never been on an airplane, much less visited a foreign country. This is a family whose idea of exotic vacation is "road trip out west." He grew up in Wisconsin Rapids and has the mentality of someone who grew up in Wisconsin Rapids. I feel sorry for the poor English folks who are going to have to deal with this kid who is incredibly conservative, uncultured, and ethnocentric. I love the kid -- we've always been close -- but dang he needs to get out more.
This should be interesting. I can't wait to meet this girl and hear the stories...
4.02.2009
When I'm in a public restroom and someone in another stall is clearly waiting for me to leave the bathroom before doing her business, I'm often tempted to hang around unnecessarily long. Or, I'm tempted to open the door and then not leave, just to trick her into peeing in my presence. I sometimes think about how fun it would be to do that and then, mid-stream, turn on the sink or something. It's a really stupid thing to be annoyed about, but it just bugs me. I mean, really, who cares if someone wants to piss in peace? Who cares if someone is too embarrassed to pee while I'm in earshot? Dumb. Super dumb. I guess there are worse things to be annoyed by, though...
4.01.2009
Hey All!
So I just wanted you to know that I found out I'm pregnant today. At first I was really stressed about it, but after talking to my family, I think I'm going to keep it. It's still really early, but just wanted to pass along the news! The father is the guy I've been dating recently. I haven't told him yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to.
Anyhow, things are really busy around here, so I just wanted to take a sec to post you the madness that is my life!
So I just wanted you to know that I found out I'm pregnant today. At first I was really stressed about it, but after talking to my family, I think I'm going to keep it. It's still really early, but just wanted to pass along the news! The father is the guy I've been dating recently. I haven't told him yet, and I'm not sure I'm going to.
Anyhow, things are really busy around here, so I just wanted to take a sec to post you the madness that is my life!
3.03.2009
So my Super-Catholic relatives sent an email about a "Call to Action" to tell Obama not to rescind the rule that lets anyone in the healthcare industry to not do their jobs because god tells them not to.
This pissed me off, but not enough to actually engage the relatives. Instead, I wrote letters to my senators and to the president supporting his actions. I found that my mom also wrote to Obama as a result of this email, also in opposition to this rule.
Now it is your turn: http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
Thank Obama for ensuring that we all can get healthcare without the meddling of religion.
This pissed me off, but not enough to actually engage the relatives. Instead, I wrote letters to my senators and to the president supporting his actions. I found that my mom also wrote to Obama as a result of this email, also in opposition to this rule.
Now it is your turn: http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/
Thank Obama for ensuring that we all can get healthcare without the meddling of religion.
3.02.2009
I taught pre-K today, and this was up on the wall. I believe it was in honor of MLK's I Have a Dream. I still can't decide on a favorite!
Ut-oh. Just what we need more of. I really enjoy the picture that Anthony drew for this.
I like that Yasmeen is specific with this one. She doesn't just want to be a princess, oh no. She insists on being a horse-riding princess.
Joan here is dreaming big. Haven't you always wanted to touch a special rock?
I bet Tamarian's mom is going to love this one when they send it home! Hopefully Marcus is Mommy's "special" friend and not just a super cool neighbor.
Aww.
Now this one kind of worries me. When Deg goes home, do they lock her in a closet? What has to happen to someone to make their dreams revolve around being in possesion or enjoyment of a window?
Ut-oh. Just what we need more of. I really enjoy the picture that Anthony drew for this.
I like that Yasmeen is specific with this one. She doesn't just want to be a princess, oh no. She insists on being a horse-riding princess.
Joan here is dreaming big. Haven't you always wanted to touch a special rock?
I bet Tamarian's mom is going to love this one when they send it home! Hopefully Marcus is Mommy's "special" friend and not just a super cool neighbor.
Aww.
Now this one kind of worries me. When Deg goes home, do they lock her in a closet? What has to happen to someone to make their dreams revolve around being in possesion or enjoyment of a window?2.09.2009
The Milwaukee Admirals, my local B-league hockey team, are hosting "Don't Be Like Mike Night." Exercise Scientist Kelly, one of my colleagues, has season tickets to the Admirals and I sometimes go along -- because hockey is fun to watch. It really is. She sent me the advert promoting the event, complete with references to 4:20, D.A.R.E. and Nancy Regan, and with promises of a weed whacker and a document shredder to destroy incriminating photos. (So...don't use drugs, but if you do, destroy the evidence?)
When I got Kelly's email, I was positive it was a spoof. It had to be, right? Uh...nope. This is the text, copied from the official Admirals website:
Michael Phelps has done a lot of things in his life that he is proud of. Eight Olympic Gold Medals from last year’s summer games is just the start of a long list of accomplishments that anyone would want to emulate.
Unfortunately, the limelight that currently shines on him is not for any of his athletic achievements, but for an act that is a bit more dubious. Thus, the Milwaukee Admirals present “Don’t Be Like Mike” Night at their game on Thursday, February 19th at 7:00 pm versus the Rockford IceHogs.
All fans who are graduates of a DARE program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) can get into the game for just $2 by bringing their DARE graduation certificate to the Admirals’ office or the Bradley Center box office. In addition, anyone with the name Michael, Phelps, Mary Jane, Cheech, Chong, Weed (Wied) or anyone who has won an Olympic Gold Medal can also get their ticket for only $2.
“I, along with Nancy Reagan, want to encourage people to not do drugs,” said Admirals President Jon Greenberg. “As an organization the Milwaukee Admirals don’t condone or encourage the use of illegal drugs, including, but not limited to marijuana, or anabolic steroids for that matter.”
The Ads will also be giving away a weed wacker, courtesy of National Ace Hardware, that will be signed by the team and if the Admirals score with 4:20 left on the clock in any period one lucky fan will win a season ticket for the 2009-10 season. The number 420 is often knows as the police code for illegal drug use.
Plus, to ensure that no one ends up in the same predicament as Michael Phelps, the team will provide a document shredder at the DigiCopy Information Table outside section 225 so fans can bring any embarrassing or incriminating photos to be destroyed.
Fans can order tickets for the 19th, or any Admirals game, by calling Ticketmaster at (414) 276-4545 or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Groups of ten or more people receive a minimum of $2 off of each ticket. For more information or to order group tickets call the Admirals office at (414) 227-0550.
When I got Kelly's email, I was positive it was a spoof. It had to be, right? Uh...nope. This is the text, copied from the official Admirals website:
Michael Phelps has done a lot of things in his life that he is proud of. Eight Olympic Gold Medals from last year’s summer games is just the start of a long list of accomplishments that anyone would want to emulate.
Unfortunately, the limelight that currently shines on him is not for any of his athletic achievements, but for an act that is a bit more dubious. Thus, the Milwaukee Admirals present “Don’t Be Like Mike” Night at their game on Thursday, February 19th at 7:00 pm versus the Rockford IceHogs.
All fans who are graduates of a DARE program (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) can get into the game for just $2 by bringing their DARE graduation certificate to the Admirals’ office or the Bradley Center box office. In addition, anyone with the name Michael, Phelps, Mary Jane, Cheech, Chong, Weed (Wied) or anyone who has won an Olympic Gold Medal can also get their ticket for only $2.
“I, along with Nancy Reagan, want to encourage people to not do drugs,” said Admirals President Jon Greenberg. “As an organization the Milwaukee Admirals don’t condone or encourage the use of illegal drugs, including, but not limited to marijuana, or anabolic steroids for that matter.”
The Ads will also be giving away a weed wacker, courtesy of National Ace Hardware, that will be signed by the team and if the Admirals score with 4:20 left on the clock in any period one lucky fan will win a season ticket for the 2009-10 season. The number 420 is often knows as the police code for illegal drug use.
Plus, to ensure that no one ends up in the same predicament as Michael Phelps, the team will provide a document shredder at the DigiCopy Information Table outside section 225 so fans can bring any embarrassing or incriminating photos to be destroyed.
Fans can order tickets for the 19th, or any Admirals game, by calling Ticketmaster at (414) 276-4545 or online at www.ticketmaster.com. Groups of ten or more people receive a minimum of $2 off of each ticket. For more information or to order group tickets call the Admirals office at (414) 227-0550.
1.21.2009
Woah, this is awesome. Twisty had a post about women, rich men, and sexual satisfaction. Multitudes commented, the thread eventually produced a comment about ducks and how the genitalia of duck species have evolved dependent upon the level of forced copulation. It's fascinating.
Ducks rule.
Ducks rule.
1.20.2009
1.14.2009
Who wants a Sugar Daddy? Wait, I mean a "sugar dady". I got this gem from Tall Guy in response to my ad looking for guys interested in MST3k.
If you are looking for a sugar dady hit me up. I'll send pictures later :)Any one of you could send him an email, since I haven't responded yet. I can send you information about the ad I posted too, but I doubt he will remember it.
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